Although a parenting plan consists of many different things, the most frequent area of conflict between parents will be in the area of custody and visitation, or what we now call "timesharing."  Although the terminology has changed, mothers and fathers will still disagree about how much time the kids will spend with Mom and Dad.

Almost everyone who has been divorced or known someone who has been divorced is familiar with the "traditional" every-other weekend timesharing arrangement that has been popular since the early 1970s.  As Dr. Joan Kelly wrote:

"For reasons not entirely clear, the specific visiting pattern of every other weekend with the nonresidential parent, usually the father, became the favored and traditional arrangement for children following separation.  This alternating weekend pattern may have gained favor because it was easy to apply, requiring no judicial or psychological analysis.  It simply divided the child's leisure time during the school year between parents, assigning divorced  mothers all the work of raising children, including discipline, homework, and childcare, and typically excluding fathers from these normal parenting responsibilities and opportunities."

Joan B. Kelly, Developing Beneficial Parenting Plan Models for Children Following Separation and Divorce, 19 Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers 237, 239 (2005).  In the same article, Dr. Kelly went on to say as follows:

"Such guidelines are inherently flawed because of the one-size fits-all standard, and because they do not, in fact, address the best interests of the children.  They failed to consider children's ages, gender, and developmental needs and achievements, the history and quality of parenting, and family situations requiring special attention.  Rigid and mindless adherence to such prescriptive guidelines  most often resulted in those children with a warm and supportive relationship with their nonresidential fathers restricted to seeing their fathers only four out of each twenty-eight days, because of the default use of the guidelines, the same amount of time as for chidlren with a self-absorbed, disinterested, or emotionally abusive father."

The point Dr. Kelly and her peers are getting at is this:  each family is different.  When deciding timesharing issues upon separation of the parents, the portion of your parenting plan that addresses timesharing issues must take into account your individual circumstances. 

Above all, when you separate or divorce, the presiding judge should not care about what you or your partner want.  The judge is only concerned with what is in your child's best interests.

That brings up another question.  Who is in the best position to decide what is in your child's best interests?  A judge, who will most likely have very limited contact with you, as a parent, and extremely limited contact, if any, with your child?  Or you, as a parent, who is in a better position to determine what is best for your child?

The answers to these questions are best addressed by a qualified child custody and visitation lawyer who can find creative solutions to timesharing issues between parents.